Comic Adventures in Johto
by RockytheTyranitar
Summary: My rewrite of the pokemon series. There is a fairly large amount of humor in this. This story takes place in Johto and Team Rocket has been replaced by the Catholic Church. This story is getting weirder and more offensive by the day so no flames please and enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

_**For 10 Years**_

**So I am now getting around to rewriting this story. I do not think the title makes sense with the new prologue, so please PM or review your suggestions to me. Anyways, this is in an attempt to be less dialoguey and more descriptive. Enjoy!**

**2/12/13**

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**Warning: Lemons possibly inside. Very rare but they might be in here.**

**I hinted at this story once and here it is. Without further ado, here is the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon, Halo, or Call of Duty, however if I did, all of the games would be far better.**

**Also people cannot understand pokemon in this story unless the pokemon learn psychic, or I decide that I want them to.**

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**Prologue**

"SHIT!" I yelled as I dodged a claw from a small brown pokemon.

"Why the hell did you keep this pokemon here?" I asked the professor as I dodged another attack.

"It attacked me and I had to catch it," he said, hiding from the thing. The whole lab was destroyed at this point. Machines were thrown, papers shredded, and general mayhem everywhere.

Of course the angry pokemon would attack me, not the professor or one of the assistants that never do anything. How did I end up here? Well perhaps I should tell you about my day so far...

**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

2 hours earlier...

"Master Will, it is time for you to wake up," Alfred, the butler said.

My name is Will Miles. I am 6 feet tall, and weigh about 150 lbs. I was the 15 year old son of a deceased billionaire. That meant I had been raised having everything I wanted right? Wrong, the money went to my mother, and after my father's death she had fallen into a deep depression, that even 5 years couldn't heal.

There were plenty of times that I had gone hungry, because she had forgotten to get food. Many of the things that I wanted I never got. For example, I wasn't provided a starter as most rich people were, but instead I had to go get one from the professor.

Now, to draw you out of my mind and to explain the surroundings. I was in my room. It was a fairly large room, with a 50 inch flat screen on the far side. Connected was my Xbox 360 with a fairly typical selection of games, MW3 and Halo 4 being the most used. The walls were a light shade of tan, and on those walls were several guitars and effects. My queen sized bed was off in a corner of the room, and my dresser was nearby.

'Today is the day I begin my journey,' I thought, as I got up to get dressed. I get dressed in my usual clothes: a darker colored shirt, jeans, and a black leather jacket. I grabbed my iPhone as I left my room, and headed for the kitchen.

In the kitchen was another of our employees, Jason. He was a chef and usually prepared all of our food. As if the whole thing was planned he turned at that moment and had my usual breakfast of eggs and bacon ready.

"Thanks Jason," I said, as I left the kitchen to eat. In the dining room was one of the few places that I saw my mother all day. As usual she was already there, eating and avoiding all eye contact. She was unusually pale skinned as a result of confining herself inside in her grief.

I quickly ate my food to escape the awkward silence, and begin my journey.

About 15 minutes later I was packed and ready to go. Hopefully they had the pokemon I wanted there.

**Chapter 2: The Lab**

2 hours 45 minutes later at the lab...

"Professor?" I said, entering the lab. It was what you would think of a typical laboratory. It had test tubes bubbling, desks everywere, and paper all over the place. How anybody functioned was beyond me. Anyways that is beside the point as Professor Elm suddenly appeared.

"Hello, welcome to the world of pokemon," he started, staring blankly at something I couldn't see.

"Professor, are you okay?" I asked.

"This world is inhabited by creatures known as pokemon," he said, releasing a Marill.

"Alright this is just weird," I said, backing up.

"Now why don't you tell me something about yourself," he said, "Are you a boy or a girl?"

"Are you blind?" I asked, amazed at his stupidity.

"Ah so you are a boy?" he said.

"That is the first thing you have said correct so far," I said, thinking perhaps he has half a mind.

"Now what is your name?" he asked.

"My name is Will Miles," I said.

"So your name is Harrison Smith?" the professor said.

"No, my name is Will Miles," I said, and hope for his sanity gone.

"Well Harry are you ready to begin your journey?" the professor said, "You journey begins now."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, before a flash blinded me. "What the?" I said, covering my eyes. When the flash had cleared a new person was in the room. He was roughly 5'10" and was wearing a navy jacket with jeans similar to mine.

"So you are here for your starter, Harry?" the professor said, apparently unsurprised by all of this.

"Yea," he replied, in a deep voice.

"Go ahead and take your pick," the professor said, unveiling many pokemon. As usual it was a choice between Cyndaquil and Totodile for this trainer, because who really cares about Chikorita anyways? You could clearly see the wheels turning in his head, did he choose the Totodile or the Cyndaquil.

"You know what, Cyndaquil is better, but I want the person that is going to be my rival to have a Chikorita so no one can take him seriously," he said, glancing out the window at a certain asshole, and grabbing the Totodile's pokeball.

"Thanks professor," he said, as he left the building. The professor then walked over to his desk and sat down, apparently never seeing me.

"Excuse me professor," I said, "I am here to get my starter as well."

"Your name?" he asked, not even bothering to look up from his computer, where he was undoubtably doing something related to the pokedex.

"Will Miles," I confidently stated.

"WILL MILES!" he said, obviously recognizing my name and sitting upright suddenly. Unfortunately for him as he sat up, he tipped the chair backwards falling and breaking one of the pokeballs. As you can imagine it opened and out came a pokemon. Out came an obviously pissed Eevee, who glared straight at me.

"SHIT!" I yelled as I dodged a claw from a small brown pokemon.

"Why the hell did you keep this pokemon here?" I asked the professor as I dodged another attack.

"It attacked me and I had to catch it," he said, hiding from the thing. The whole lab was destroyed at this point. Machines were thrown, papers shredded, and general mayhem everywhere.

Of course the angry pokemon would attack me, not the professor or one of the assistants that never do anything.

"Professor, why is this eevee trying to kill me?" I asked, dodging yet another strike of its claws. For a 2 foot tall furball, it sure was dangerous.

"It attacked me, and I was forced to catch it earlier," he said, "Perhaps it has a general hatred for humans."

As if to prove his point, it attacked yet again.

"This is a pokemon lab, don't you even have one battle ready pokemon?" I asked, glancing around at all the pokemon.

"None that can fight," he replied, cowering further under what was left of his desk.

"Get me a pokeball," I said, as the eevee slowly worked me into a corner.

The professor nodded seeing my predicament and searched for one in his desk all the while the eevee edged closer and closer.

"Hurry!" I yelled as it got closer still. It was no less the 5 feet away, and I was in a corner.

"Here," he said, as he threw the pokeball to me, as the Eevee lunged at me.

**Chapter 3: Cream**

Thinking quickly, I threw out my arm in an attempt to block her attack. It actually worked, partially. While the rest of me was fine, guess what happened to my arm? Thats right, it the the shit scratched out of it. Somehow, I managed to ignore the pain long enough to catch the ball and put her in it. Hopefully with her being such a low level, it could contain her.

Luckily enough for me, it was, as the ball clicked shut a few seconds later.

"Is it gone?" the professor asked, peaking over his desk and grimacing at the destruction. There wasn't much standing.

"Well at least you have your starter," he said.

"WHAT? YOU ARE GIVING ME THE POKEMON THAT ALMOST KILLED ME AS MY STARTER?" I yelled, outraged.

"It is powerful, and we can't keep it here," he said.

"Alright, fine," I said, knowing that there is no way I could change his mind. Scientists were the worst, once they decided on a course of action, there was no stopping them.

"Another reason is because we gave you a special pokeball, that only allows the owner to open it and connects a piece of their soul to the pokemon," he said.

"Wait... what was that?" I said, hoping to Arceus I had heard wrong.

"You now have a mental bond with her, as a result of the special pokeball you used," he said.

"So I can't release her?" I asked, slowly getting angry.

"Sadly, your lives are tied together. If either of you dies, so will the other," he said, cowering as he saw my anger erupt.

"Dammit, now my starter is going to be a pokemon that almost killed me?" I yelled.

"Yeah," the professor said.

"You know what, fine." I said, walking out the door.

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**Author Notes: Go ahead and flame about my writing. I'm not great but this is for fun. Just one thing: do not flame about rating. Content, writing style, grammar, etc. are all fair game though. Send hatemail directly to me, constructive criticism is always welcome.**

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**So this chapter was completely scrapped and redone in the end. There are some changes as I am sure you noticed. Most of the story will be the same though. Also I officially hate the prologue. I rewrote it over 7 times before leaving it as it is now.**

**2/13/12**


	2. Chapter 2

**Tar: And I am back. So the people that reviewed and PM'd liked it so I thanks everyone. I think that this is better then it was origionally.**

**Rain: It would be except for where am I? **

**Tar: You will be in later. And you will cause Will alot of pain. Like a major alot of pain. Like you almost get to kill him pain**

**Rain: That works.**

**Tar: I do not own pokemon. If I did, the Anime wouldn't be so retarded and the Games would be absolutely epic.**

**REVIEWS!**

**Rarity Hash 1: Thanks, I think I fixed that.**

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**Chapter 4:**

'So now I am stuck with an Eevee that almost killed me as my starter. Life couldn't get any worse,' I thought. To add insult to injury, the heavens opened and it was poring down rain.

"Fuck!" I said, looking for shelter. I spotted a tree in the distance that was just big enough keep my fairly dry.

'So lets review, pissed Eevee, poring rain, and I am stuck out here with very little shelter. Just great,' I thought.

'Now you know how I feel,' somebody said, psychically.

"What the hell?" I said, surprised. I glanced around and still saw nobody. 'Where are you?' I thought.

'I am the pissed Eevee. Now imagine this, you are peacefully sleeping near your home, when somebody catches you. Now you are stuck with some idiot that you almost killed for the rest of your life. Oh and my family is probably worried sick,' she said, with plenty of anger in her voice.

'Aint that a bitch. Where did your family live?' I asked, as the storm continued strong. As it continued it continually got colder.

'Nearby,' the Eevee replied, still angry and not willing to tell me.

'Well we are stuck together whether or not we like it, so can we at least try to be friendly?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, closing off mental communications.

I sighed knowing I was going to be in for a long lonely night. Leaning against the tree I decided to get at least some sleep.

**The next morning...**

The following morning I awoke to a sunny day. The storm had passed over head, through the night, and it was now good traveling weather.

'You awake?' I asked, hoping that the Eevee would be not quite as angry today.

'I didn't get much sleep, it is to small in here for me to sleep comfortably,' she angrily replied. Apparently she was still just as pissed as usual.

'You should have told me. I would have let you out,' I said, hoping that she would realise that I wasn't like the other humans that she had met.

'No you wouldn't have. You are just lying trying to get me to like you. Anyways, I have seen many trainers and they all keep their pokemon in their balls,' she coldly replied.

'Lets leave it at, I am not like other trainers,' I said, trying to calm her down.

'Stop lying. We both know that you are,' she said, obviously unconvinced.

'Fine. What do you want to do?' I asked, still trying to change her mind.

'Leave you, get out of this ball, see my family, and murder yours!,' she yelled into my head.

'Well the second is easily done,' I said, as I let her go. 'Now we can go see your family, if you tell me where to go.'

The second I released her she took off running. Thanks to the pokeballs safety feature she ran into a solid wall at about 100 yards away.

'Damn it, I really am stuck with you,' she said, angrily as usual.

'Yeah, I know. Now if you want to go see your family, just lead the way,' I said.

'You were actually being serious,' she asked, glancing longingly of towards the direction of her home.

'You think I would joke about that?' I replied, as I followed her.

**Chapter 5:**

'How much further?' I asked as we walked along. We had been traveling for about one hour. Currently we were in a dense forest with only a few clearings.

'We are almost there,' she replied, moving through the forest much easier then I was.

Suddenly I was tackled from behind. Sharp teeth that I couldn't see were pinning me down. Slowly they started to move for my neck. When I had given up all hope of surviving, something came to my rescue.

Surprisingly the Eevee had knocked what appeared to be a Vaporeon off of me, and was currently engaged in a conversation with it. As I could only understand her via mental communications I was lost and had no idea what they were saying. As I was watching them suddenly I felt very sleepy and drifted off.

Cream's POV

I was so excited to be able to see my home again that I completely forgot that my family would most likely kill Will on sight. As we neared my parents den I heard a loud thump behind me. Luckily for both Will and me, I was able to throw the Vaporeon, who happened to be my sister, Rain, off before she could kill him.

"What the hell?" She asked, not attacking, but not letting her guard down. Behind her stood an Espeon, who was my mother that had used Hypnosis on Will.

"Don't kill him," I said, defending Will, although unhappily.

"You are siding with him?" Rain asked shocked beyond belief.

"Not willingly. To make a long story short, you kill him, you kill me. Through alot of bad luck, he caught me in self-defense. The pokeball he used happened to tie our minds together," I said, not really understanding it myself, and hoping my family understood.

"So you are saying that you hate him," Rain said, calming down and abandoning her aggresive posture.

"Not as much as most humans. At least he let me go out here," I said, glad that they understood.

"So he is stuck as your trainer, and neither of you can do anything?" my mother, whose name happened to be Alicia, said.

"Exactly," I said, calming down.

"I guess that I should at least get us back to the den then," she replied, as she teleported all of us back. The inside of the den was fairly large. It was roughly 20x20 (feet), and had several hallways that led to seperate rooms.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!" my Flareon brother said, angrilly.

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**Tar: There, you are in. Happy?**

**Rain: Very much so. Why didn't you let me kill Will?**

**Tar: He is important, anyways you get to be a pain later.**

**Rain: Works.**

**Flare: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON! *Runs out screaming***

**Tar: Well that was interesting... Anyways, in an effort to get more reviews, every 10 chapters I will give away a pokemon. For this first 10 it is going to be a Larvitar. Each review gets you one entry. So reivew...**

**Rain: Oh and in other news, reviews will get alot slower. Tar is getting really lazy.**

**Tar: That is partially true, actually my life has gotten busy as hell. Riolu and I are co-writing a story, which I am sure you will see. Updates will be rare until mid april. So...**

**REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tar: And I am back... I know I said there would be minimal chapters until April, but I have alot of time today.**

**Rain: Meaning that no one is RPing fast enough to keep him busy.**

**Tar: Yeah, pretty much.**

**So anyways Review:**

**Will the Charizard: Yeah, I wasn't satisfied with them last time, so I made changes to everyone except Rain. Also, updates will be rare, but will still happen.**

**tinyRyan117: I am curious to see how this will turn out as well.**

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**Chapter 6:**

"So you are saying, that your life is tied to his, and if we kill him we kill you?" Flare, my brother, said.

"Yea, at least he is nice compared to the other humans I met. Origionally I was supposed to be cooped up in the lab," I said.

It was about 3 hours later, and I had finished explaining everything that had happened, since I had left the den. They had taken it surprisingly well considering the fact that we had appeared, unconscious Will and all. Last I saw him, he would have fire blasted everything in sight, if he was surprised like that.

"Alright, well I guess thats settled then," he said, sitting down surprisingly calm.

"So what has happened since I was taken?" I asked, sitting down wondering what in the world could have made him so much calmer.

"Nothing much, actually. Rain and Flare both went off and found mates and live nearby now," Alicia said.

Will's POV...

'Its to dark in here.' I thought as I awoke in a, surprise surprise, dark room. 'The last thing I remembered was... Cream saving me from that Vaporeon. I still am not sure who that pokemon was, but I remember an Espeon just before I was knocked out. Wait, I am still alive? How? Both of the pokemon wanted to kill me. So if I am not dead where am I?'

At about that time I noticed a narrow tunnel leading away from my prison. 'I guess it can't hurt to follow the tunnel,' I thought, crawling through the short tunnel. Not only was the tunnel narrow, but it was to short for me to stand up in.

At the end of the tunnel I heard voices, I sat down to listen to the voices.

"Alright, well I guess thats settled then," somebody who's voice I didn't know said.

"So what has happened since I was taken?" Cream asked.

"Nothing much, actually. Rain and Flare both went off and found mates and live nearby now," another voice that I didn't recognize said.

"I still don't know why you didn't let me kill the human," another voice said.

"I already told you, if you kill him, you kill me," Cream said.

"Probably just another human lie," the 3rd voice said.

Trying to figure out what was going on, I peeked around the corner. In the room was a Vaporeon, a Flareon, an Espeon, and Cream.

"Do you really want to find out the hard way?" Cream asked, with irritation clearly evident in her voice.

"Not really," the Vaporeon said.

'Come on out, I know you are there,' a voice in my head said.

**Chapter 7**

Hearing the voice I moved out into the central room, where there was plenty of room for me to stand up. Cream and Rain were still bickering, Flare was sitting quietly off to the side, not wanting to take part in this fight, and Alicia was sitting off in another corner telepathically watching me.

'Wonder how long it will take them to notice I am here?' I thought, sitting in a corner like Flare.

'Some time most likely,' Alicia said, 'Should I tell them that you are here?'

'Why tell them, eventually they will see me. Probably,' I replied, silently laughing at their lack of situational awareness.

'I am starting to doubt that,' she said, laughing along with me.

'So you don't hate my guts like everyone else?' I asked, glancing at Rain.

'Not really, there is no reason to. Either way Cream is stuck with you. If you were a bad person, you wouldn't let her return here. Flare also agrees with me. Only Rain hates you,' she said.

'No surprise there,' I thought, as their argument winded down.

"Either way, you can't kill him!" Cream yelled and walked out the door.

Rain, finally paying attention to her surroundings looked over at me and glared, before walking down anther hallway in the den.

"That went better then I expected," Flare said, walking over to me. "Anyways, I am Cream's rational brother Flare. Rain is the family hothead in case you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, I did notice, on a scale of 1 to 10 how badly does she want to kill me?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"26," Flare said, walking off.

"Will, you probably need to go get Cream. Recently the forest has become much more dangerous, and I have doubts about the safety around here," Alicia said, "And before you ask, I think that she needs you to go get her, so she has some trust for you."

"Alright, I will go get her," I said, walking out of the den.

At a nearby stream...

I searched for about 30 minutes before I found her, down by a stream. As I walked forward to talk to her, she saw me and glared at me.

"You are aware that I really pissed my sister off for your sorry ass," she angrily said, not letting her glare drop.

"Yeah, I know. I was there," I said, remembering that fight.

"How did I not notice you?" She asked, surprised.

"I sat in a corner and talked to Flare and your mother," I replied, not sure how they didn't notice me myself.

"I was pretty focused on argueing," she said.

We sat there quietly for several minutes before I remembered why I had gone out there in the first place.

"Hey, your mother sent me to come get you. She said the forest has gotten much more dangerous recently," I said, standing up.

"Alright, lets go then," she said, rising as well.

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**Rocky: Its a little short, but I wanted to get you guys a chapter.**

**Rain: And thats not all.**

**Rocky: Yeah, the plot line has changed again. It may or may not still have the lemon. I want to keep it, but the new plot line may cut it out. Another thing is that there will not be a sequel, as the story will end itself. I am going to put up a poll, for which ending you want. Please take a look.**

**One last thing. In your reviews would you mind comparing me to any author on the site? I would like to know how I compare to other writers.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Tar: And I am back, and here are my excuses as to why I didn't finish this up earlier:**

**I am lazy. There I said it. **

**Rain: Or he was to busy on the Xbox and his forums that he just forgot.**

**Tar: Yeah... Pretty much.**

**So here is more of the story so as a quick recap:**

**Cream explained this fucked up situation to her family, Rain got pissed off.**

**Rain: Damn right.**

**Flare didn't destroy everything (Thank god), and Will went off and found Cream.**

**So to spoil this chapter, it is 2 weeks later and he is about to set off to Cherrygrove Town, where he is going to find a character that some of you are going to hate and some of you will love. Enjoy.**

**Oh and sadly I do not own pokemon. The games would be amazing, and the anime either wouldn't exist or wouldn't be so retarded.**

**REVIEWS!**

** GSlayer: They are shorter then I would like them to be, but far longer then the origional.**

**Rain: You should have seen the original. It sucked.**

** tinyRyan117: I am liking it this time around more as well.**

** ThatRandomGuy71: Thanks muchly, I try to improve. Your story is coming along nicely as well.**

**Tar: Now to the story.**

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2 weeks later...

"Ready to go?" I asked Cream, as we prepared to begin our journey. Over the two weeks we spent unwillingly in each others company, we had learned to at least tolerate each other. During that time we agreed to set out on a journey to conquer the gyms. Although that was my plan originally, there was another reason to leave. Rain was getting progressively nastier, from glaring at me, to trying to hit me with scald as I walked by.

"Yea," she said, standing up from the place we had camped last night, and stretching.

"Well then we should hit the road," I said, walking out of the town and onward to Cherrygrove.

Later...

"Hey Will," Cream said, breaking up the silence of the road. We had been walking in silence for a few hours.

"Yeah," I replied, happy to talk instead of walking along in silence.

"Do you have any family?" she asked.

"Actually I do. My mother is my only surviving family, but she is..." I trailed off suddenly getting emotional.

"She is..." Cream started before picking up on my emotion and saying, "Sorry."

"Its alright," I said, drying the beginnings of tears. "She lost all perception of the outside world. She just doesn't care anymore. After my fathers death she stopped taking care of me or anything." I finished almost crying.

Small tears could be seen in Cream's eyes, but all she said was, "I'm sorry. That must have been a horrible childhood, then when you get a chance to make a life for yourself you end up with me who at first wanted you dead."

"In the end I am happy we got stuck together. Already you are my best friend, as sad as that is, and we will be spending a long time together," I said smiling at her, as storm clouds brewed overhead.

"Wow and of course rain has to come now," Cream remarked, unhappily.

"Well I guess its time to pitch a tent," I said, as I walked off the road and began to set up my tent. Now out of all the times the damn thing could be tangled, it was tangled the one time I needed to get out of the rain.

So the rain came down and here I was still trying to set up my tent. It bugged me, but I am sure it was ten times worse for Cream as her fur soaked it all up.

"Wonderful, just wonderful," I said, as I crawled into the half erected tent with Cream behind me. We both silently shivered as the storm was overhead. For a few hours we waited until it finally let up. Now guess what time it was? Night time.

'Today really isn't my day,' I thought as I got in my sleeping bag to go to sleep.

The next morning...

Cream's POV

I awoke the next morning feeling much better. The water had left my fur overnight and I was ready to continue our journey to Cherrygrove. Of course Will wasn't awake yet, which left me to wake him so we could continue.

"Will wake up, we need to get moving," I said, shaking him lightly. Of course he didn't wake up. That would be easy right?

"WILL WAKE UP!" I yelled into his ear, and laughed as he jumped into the air.

When he landed he was breathing heavily and glared at me before saying, "Was that really necessary?"

"You weren't waking by normal methods, so I improvised," I said, in between laughs.

"You get way to much enjoyment out of this," he grumbled as he started packing up to leave.

Eventually my laughing fit subsided and I sat off to the side and watched as he finished packing.

Of course there was the all important step of him packing up the pain in the ass thing that was called a tent. Well it was more of a pain in the ass for him. It was downright hilarious for me, which earned me another glare from Will.

"Bad day?" I asked, in cheery annoying tone. Of course I already knew the answer, but the oppurtunity to mess with him was always welcome.

"How did you guess?" he asked, in a sarcastic pissed off tone, as he finished packing up the tent. He quickly put it all in his bag and off we went.

"Just a random guess," I said continuing my cheerful tone.

"You can really be cruel sometimes," he said, as we continued our walk right towards a whole clusterfuck of trouble.

"Yep, thats me, your everyday pain in the ass," I said, as we walked into a clearing. In said clearing was a pokemon, that had been caught in a Ursaring trap.

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**Rocky: Enter Will's new pokemon.**

**Rain: I hope he is an asshole. Spawn of the devil.**

**Rocky: Not exactly. He is an asshole, and I might even have him hurt Will, but this is going to be good.**

**Anyways R&R and sorry for the short chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Tar: And I am back. Did anybody get the Ursaring trap one? Ursaring=Bear? Bear trap? Whatever.**

**Rain: So in this chapter we are going to find out what was caught in the Ursaring trap.**

**Tar: There were actually some of you who guessed right. Also I enjoy the number of reviews I am getting. Thanks to Will the Charizard, thatrandomguy71, and tinyRyan117 for constantly reviewing.**

**Rain: Now Rocky the Tyranitar doesn't own pokemon, but the first thing he will do when he makes billions of dollars somehow will be to buy them, make the games good although X and Y look good, kill the anime, and STOP MAKING NEW EEVEELUTIONS.**

**REVIEWS!**

**tinyRyan117: Yeah, she is going to do that for awhile still and after evolution it is going to get worse. Like Skye worse.**

**ThatRandomGuy71: I am working on being more descriptive.**

**Will The Charizard: My impatient side is angry at me for writing on here and not finishing learning the Hotel California solo on guitar. *Looks at guitar* Better write quickly.**

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Will's POV...

So we wander into this clearing mentioned in last chapter. Inside was a huge Scyther caught in a Ursaring trap. Being me I take a look at it and decide to help. I take a cautious step towards it and its head snaps towards me. Unsurprisingly its eyes narrow, and it growls angrilly at me.

"Get the fuck away human," it said, glaring at me. Of course I was more then happy to back away after taking a look at its blades on its hands. Now guess who spoke up then announcing our intentions. Cream...

"We are only trying to get you out of the trap," she said. To this day I do not know if he was convinced by what she said due to his next response.

"Scyther doesn't need any help," he said, flinching in slight pain, "Scyther can get out any time he likes."

Now for anybody here who has half a brain, you know that a Scyther's claws are not capable of cutting through solid steel, and they aren't ideal for prying the trap open.

"Alright, get out then," I said, sitting down on a log.

"You doubt Scyther's ability?" he asked, glaring at me again.

"Yes I do. If it is so easy get out," I said, just sitting and waiting.

The Scyther glared at me before swinging his claws at the trap repeatedly. Unsurprisingly this did next to nothing. He then tried to pry the trap apart, which also failed much more spectacurely then his first attempt. Naturally he continued trying, as his pride wouldn't let him admit that he was wrong and he did in fact need my help.

Meanwhile I was fixing my and Cream's lunch. Of course when he saw the food he hungrily glanced at the food, but returned his attention to the trap when I glanced his way. So now I was sitting here eating lunch, watching a starving, trapped, and stubborn as hell Scyther try to free itself, probably kill me, and get food. Outstanding.

After about 15 more minutes of struggling the Scyther stopped attacking the trap, and started having an internal battle with his pride. I knew he needed my help. He knew he needed my help. Cream knew he needed my help. Even the retarded Pidgeys in the nearby tree knew he needed my help. The question was was he going to ask for it?

After about 30 more minutes of eating I decided to give up and packed up everything that Cream and I didn't eat and began to walk away. Now of all times he spoke up.

"Please," was all he said. Both of us knew what he meant, but I wanted to clarify before I got anywhere close to those claws.

"Please what?" I asked facing him.

"Please free my leg from this trap," he said, looking at the ground ashamed that he had to beg for help from a human no less. If it was a Scyther or even another pokemon it wouldn't be so bad, but a human. It was utterly humiliating for him.

I nodded and slowly walked towards him, and carefully pulled the trap open. The minute his leg was free he jerked it out and started to run. Now I don't know if you are familiar with your standard Ursaring trap, but it isn't the kind of thing that you just walk off. He got about 3 or four steps before he collapsed as his leg was unable to support him anymore. Of course he tried again, with similiar results.

"You need some help?" I asked, sitting back down on the log.

This time he hesitated before saying, "Scyther can do it on his own."

I nodded and sat down to watch him struggle until he said needed help. This time he only waited about 15 more minutes of struggling before saying, "Scyther needs help."

Of course I walked over and helped him to the nearest log, and gave him something to eat.

After he was done eating he sat on the log thoughtfully for a few minutes before announcing, "Scyther wishes to travel with human."

* * *

**Tar: Sorry for the short chapter folks, but I have a few announcements that I need to get out asap.**

**First: OCs... Could use a few. I don't like filling a story with my own OCs, so I want yours.**

**Second: There is a poll on my profile about the story. Please take a look. It will have a major impact on how often I update.**

**Third: I need someone who is willing to spitball ideas with me when I get stuck in the chapter. **

**So please R&R.**


	6. Chapter 6

**And I am back. Obviously as you are reading this right now. Otherwise it wouldn't be posted. I also decided to take out the side bit unless I think of something funny. Once again this story has had a plot change based off an idea I had that I shared with tinyRyan117. I am going to do a story for each region and I will replace each team with a real life group. For example Plasma will be replaced with PETA. I am replacing Rocket with the Catholic church and I have an awesome idea for Emerald (Evil Laugh). Excluding one group I will not go overboard on my criticism of them. The group that will replace Aqua though, I am going to beat the shit out of.**

**Also last chapter was the last chapter to have any semblance of normalcy. Nothing will be normal from here on out. Also I will be taking some ideas from the anime, like changing Rocket's motto so enjoy. And do not expect Jessie and James or any character from the anime to be in character.**

**I do not own pokemon, if I did I would fund the Moderator's attempts to make a lifesize Latios.**

**REVIEWS!**

**Will the Charizard: Scythers are awesome, but underpowered in the games.**

**SpartanLemons: Thanks.**

**tinyRyan117: Yep that bad. This story is about to take a comic turn.**

**Thatrandomguy71: I need OCs for the rest of Will's team, and a few trainer OCs. I also need suggestions for a few things which will be adressed at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

You guys ever heard the expression doing a double take? Well that is what I just did.

"Why would you want to travel with me?" I asked. This was surprising considering his pride that had been crushed a few minutes ago.

'Maybe he wants to kill you,' Cream thought, raising a valid point to worry about. Perhaps he wanted revenge for his damaged pride.

"Human saved Scyther. Scyther owes human a debt that can be repayed by traveling with human," he said, seeming perfectly honest.

'What do you think?' I asked Cream, hoping he was honest.

'He seems honest enough, but I have my doubts,' she thought, but I had made up my mind to take a gamble on this and hope it worked out.

"I would be happy for you to travel with me," I said, bringing out a pokeball to capture him in. To my relief he didn't attack me, but instead tapped the button and allowed himself to be captured.

"So I guess he didn't want to kill me," I said, as I pocketed the ball, and continued walking towards Cherrygrove Town.

3 hours later...

'Are you sure this is a shortcut?' Cream asked, as we looked at a small side trail, that wasn't marked on the map.

'I am very sure, otherwise it wouldn't be marked shortcut,' I said, looking at the sign by the trail that said: Shortcut to Cherrygrove Town. This is definately not a way for some evil organization to ambush you and take your pokemon.

'If you say so,' Cream said, not being able to read English. I, being a guy, looked at shortcut and didn't read anything else.

'Let's go,' I said, walking down the trail. Unknowingly, walking towards a trap.

5 mins later...

'Some shortcut,' Cream said, looking at the trail which had abruptly dead ended.

'It must not be done yet,' I said. Of course what we heard next completely proved me wrong.

"Prepare for trouble," somebody said.

"Make it double," a second person said.

"To protect the world from dangerous heretics," the first person said.

"To unite all people within our church," the second person said.

"To denounce the evils of gayism and Islam," the first person said.

"To extend our reach to the heavens above," the second person said.

"Jessie," the first person said.

"James," the second person said.

"The Catholic Church taking over at the speed of light," Jessie said.

"Surrender now or prepare to get burned at the stake," James said.

"Pope Francis, that's right," Pope Francis said.

Now right about now I did the only logical thing that you can imagine. I fell down and nearly died laughing. I would have died laughing, but then the story would have been over and we can't have that.

Once I was done laughing I stood up and looked at them, before dying laughing again.

"Sorry this is just to riduculous to not laugh at," I said, ignoring the pissed off looks on their faces, and the confused one on Creams. "Let me guess, you are the modern inquisition?" I said, still laughing.

10 mins later...

"Are you done yet?" Francis asked.

"Yeah," I said, standing and starting to walk away.

"Wait a minute, we aren't finished here. We still have to mug you, steal your pokemon, and burn you at the stake for heresy," Jessie said.

"Yeah, so send out your pokemon," James said, releasing a level 1 ratatta.

I just looked at it, and said, "Really?"

"Yeah, we are going to kick your ass," Jessie said.

Francis glanced at them like they were both idiots, which they most definately were. I felt somewhat sorry for him. Here he was trying to be an evil genius, and he was stuck with these two losers. That would suck.

'Cream, use tackle on that poor ratatta so we can go,' I thought walking away.

Once she had knocked the poor thing out, we just walked off. I am pretty sure I heard Francis yelling at the other two to get the Dragonite next time. Or something like that.

* * *

**I need OCs lots of them. I need OCs for the Catholic Church, random trainers, Will's pokemon, and a friendly rival. Also I need ideas for a new title.**

**Anyways R&R!**


	7. Chapter 7

**And I am back again. Not much to say except I am going to try to give you guys a long chapter so here is the disclaimer:**

**Will: RockytheTyranitar does not own pokemon or the Catholic Church and doesn't mean to offend any Catholics, Christians, Islamics, or any other group easily offended, except the Westborough Baptist Church. He does own his OCs and the plot. Also I stole a scene from my origional version of this story. Lets see if any of you can find it.**

**REVIEWS!**

**Will The Charizard: I like to live dangerously...**

**Thatrandomguy71: I already have a copy of his OC somewhere. I do plan to use him in a later story if you are fine with that.**

**tinyRyan117: Thats the whole point of this story is to make you laugh.**

* * *

So after our run in with the Catholics, we continued walking towards Cherrygrove Town. When we got there we met a very interesting person.

At the entrance of Cherrygrove there was this old man who began speaking to me at an extremely fast speed before running off to the pokemart as if I didn't know what it was. Then he ran off the to pokecenter, before running to the ocean. Seeing my chance to escape I simply ducked out of the town and continued on my way to Violet City.

Thankfully nothing eventful happened before we got to Mr. Pokemon's house. At the time we were walking along the path that runs next to his house, and we heard something that sounded vaguely like someone getting attacked.

I would have kept going except that I saw something rather weird. And by weird I mean really weird. Like really really weird.

"Is that two cardinals beating Mr. Pokemon up?" I asked outloud, and sure enough there were two cardinals beating the shit out of Mr. Pokemon.

"Wow, I never thought I would see two cardinals in the same place," I said, surprised. Of course I was going to help him, but the script said not to enter yet. So I waited until they asked him if he was going to convert to Catholicism.

Then I merely took one step forward, and they both saw me. Knowing that Mr. Pokemon wasn't going anywhere they chose to deal with me instead. Now as these were cardinals, not grunts, they had better pokemon. Like a Geodude and a Pidgotto.

"Really?" I said, as I threw Scyther's ball, and Cream walked out beside him.

3rd Person POV...

"Cream use Shadow Ball on the Geodude, and Scyther do something to the Pidgotto," Will said, watching for tricks.

Once he had said that, Cream began to charge a Shadow Ball, and Scyther freakin disappeared. He just did. I don't know how but he did. About half a second and several green blurs later the Pidgotto was on the ground knocked out from a blow to the head. Now the Geodude faired slightly better, throwing a rock to block the attack.

"Geodude use, Rollout," the shorter Cardinal said, while the taller one didn't say anything as his pokemon was knocked out.

"Cream dodge and use shadow ball. Scyther do what ever you did last time again," I said, as the geodude started rolling.

So the geodude started rolling towards Cream, who merely stood in front of a convenient lake and let the geodude roll right off the edge and most likely drown himself. When we turned to face the cardinals they were gone.

Will's POV

So this day is interesting, I got attacked by the pope and minions, then I see two Cardinals beating Mr. Pokemon half to death. What's going to happen next, Cream is going to confess she loves for me? Unlikely...

Of course knowing the author of this story there is no telling what he will put in here. He might just make there be a hidden church under Mahogany town. Now I am rambling, whoever thought of such a crazy thing. A church under Mahogany town. Not going to happen.

So moving on, we just leave Mr. Pokemon laying in the dirt, bleeding and continue on our way to Violet City.

* * *

**So this chapter really didn't want to be written. I had no problem for the first 600 words, then it all fell apart and I spent the time up until now trying to write it. So OCs are still needed even though I have a pretty good idea of most of the main characters for this story. Also I would like to replace the Gym Leaders character in the game with something hilarious. So ideas for whoever the first gym leader is please. Also happy belated birthday to me. My birthday was on the 8th and I did nothing for it. **

**One last thing, nevermind to the long chapter thing at the top. I wrote that when I started writing this chapter. I might be able to drag out the next chapter, but knowing me it is doubtful. I might conquer the Sprout Tower in 2 sentences of battling and 8 of verbal abuse of bellsprout, the wimps inside the tower, and whoever I am pissed at that particular day.**


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